For me it was always about the destination, not the journey. If I was headed somewhere, I just wanted to get there ASAP, and wasn’t too interested in what happened along the way. Ditto if I wanted to complete a task or achieve some goal: let’s just get it done I’d tell myself, whatever it takes, so long as I can check it off the list. Satisfaction was all about crossing the finish line, not running the race.
But that was then. Matt’s experience made it eminently clear that running the race is so much more meaningful and important than arriving at the finish line. Of course, in his case, he wasn’t trying to sprint to the finish line – but why isn’t that the case for all of us?
Matt was a big sports fan, and a Philly sports fan at that. So over the past eight years or so he tracked the progress of the 76ers as they tried to reestablish themselves as a contender in the NBA. In Philly they have a phrase for this: Trust The Process. There’s a whole story around that phrase that’s pretty interesting if you’re a Philly fan, but Matt came to adopt that phrase for a completely different reason. In his case, Trust The Process (TTP) became a mantra for how he would live his life while coping with his disease. TTP was believing his doctors would administer the best course of treatment. TTP was about accepting the love and support from his family, and giving it back in return. TTP was having faith in God’s plan. The outcome wasn’t as important as how he undertook the journey.
I still experience grief over Matt’s loss. I tell myself to TTP. The “goal” isn’t to overcome the grief, nor to try to arrive at some better place. The “goal” is not to focus on the goal at all, but rather to focus on the “process”. God has his plan for me just as he had one for Matt. What matters is living each day with values and purpose, and letting the road lead where it may. It’s not about the destination, but the journey. It’s not about the outcome, but the process.
TTP