That’s a picture of my son and me taken on the grounds of the Vatican about six years ago. Little did I know then that’s all the time I’d have left to spend with him.
Welcome. My name is Gerry, and my son’s name was Matthew. We affectionally called Matthew “Turtle” since he was slow to get things done at times. (Personally, I would have said he was methodical – not slow! – but Matt liked the name, so it stuck.) Matt died of Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM), an aggressive form of brain cancer on Valentine’s Day, 2022. He was only 33.
Matt accomplished a lot in his short lifetime. He was an MD/PhD, played D-I sports, and traveled to Europe a couple times. He was a beloved husband, son, brother, friend, and mentor. We are still grieving his loss. Of course, whenever we lose someone close to us we search for ways to keep their memory alive. I suppose that’s one of the things I’m trying to do by starting this blog. But it’s more than that…
Cancer and I have gotten to know each other quite well over the years. Both of my parents died of the disease at a relatively young age, and now my son has as well. Personally, I’ve already survived two separate bouts with the disease, but thanks to good surveillance my cancers were caught early, so I made a full recovery. I know, though, that cancer will probably come knocking at my door again. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell that cancer runs in our family, but in our case we actually know the specific genetic mechanism at work.
Ultimately, my goal in creating this site to offer help and hope for those living with cancer. That’s Turtle’s Gift, and I’d like to pass it on.
There’s lots of stuff to talk about… For sure I’ll talk about cancer, its causes and treatments, but I’d like to discuss other topics as well. Faith has been an integral part of both my life and Matt’s, and I believe neither of us would have been able to walk our journeys without the assurance that God was at our sides. We come from a Christian/Catholic tradition, so I’ll explore what our religion has to say about living with this disease. For those of you not religiously inclined, I’ll also dive into one of the most widely prescribed forms of psychotherapy for coping with illness: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). ACT provides a wealth of practical tools for getting the most out of every day even in the face of mental and physical challenges. Of course, we all have our interests and hobbies, so I’ll blog about those too.
The reason I’m writing this blog isn’t simply about preserving my son’s memory. The reason I’m writing is to take the lessons that Matt and I have learned about living – and dying – with cancer, and share those with others coping with the disease. And what Matt demonstrated in a very profound way is that even in the face of a terminal illness, it’s possible to live a meaningful and loving life until the very end. That was Matthew’s gift – Turtle’s Gift – to all of us, and I want to make sure I pass it on.
Let’s get started!